Be Happy Zone - Building Self Confidence
How To Build Self-Confidence
is the master key to success
The more confident you are and
the more experiences
and opportunities you seek out, the more enjoyable your
life will become.
Fear and self-consciousness prevent many of us from attempting
the things we really want to do in life. To be confident is to be truly
engaged in the world, not to shy away from it.
Confidence is the hinge
on the door to success.
- Mary Dumas
It takes time and practice to build self-confidence. Great works
of art are not created in a day and neither are great people.
Below are tips and ideas that have helped me increase my confidence
over the years. It still amazes me how far I've come in my life,
when I look back at how shy and unsure of myself I used to be.
I hope one day you will look back at yourself and be amazed
at how far you have come as well.
1) Building Self-Confidence - Accept Your Fears
Lack of confidence comes from self-doubt and worry. Yet most of the
things we fear either never actually happen or turn out not to be as bad
as we had anticipated.
Trying to avoid failure or embarrassment, we can worry ourselves into a paralyzing inaction.
Building self confidence - accept your fears
To overcome this, acknowledge that you are afraid and that you have
one of two choices: To be afraid and do nothing. Or to be afraid and take action anyway.
You can keep running your worries over and over in your mind, or you can make a plan to eleviate them.
If you admit that you are afraid, but take charge of your life anyway,
your confidence will build and multiply upon itself.
Sometimes, though, it's hard to admit that you are afraid. It's easier to
hold a 'sour grapes' mentality and not go for what you truly want because it may be difficult to reach.
The Confident Person:
"The way to develop confidence is to do the thing you fear
and get a record of successful experiences behind you."
- William Jennings Bryan.
Fear and worry are a natural part of life.
Fear does not come to you alone because you are less worthy or more incompetent than others. It comes to you because you are human.
There are so many things in life that you want to accomplish. When fear and self-doubt come to your mind, take the confident person's approach to it. Know that you are afraid but continue on anyway.
"Feel the fear and do it anyway."
- Susan Jeffers.
This is the phrase that goes through my mind most when I am nervous.
I have used it before making a phone call I didn't want to make, before a job interview, and before confronting a family memeber about a difficult personal issue.
Feel the fear and do it anyway. Yes, I know that I am afraid, but I know
that I can do it anyway.
Remember that fear is not a judgement on you. Everyone gets nervous, everyone has doubts. Confident people differ from others in that they are quicker to acknowledge their fears and to push on in spite of them.
The more you focus your mind on continuing on, the quicker you find that you've forgotten what you were so nervous about in the first place.
2) Increasing Self-Confidence - Stand Confident
Your body and mind work as one.
Making changes to your body posture can effect your thoughts and your attitude. A slumped, depressed posture makes you feel unmotivated and lethargic.
But stand or sit up straight and see how better you feel and how better
We all know people who seem to naturally ooze confidence. When they walk they look ahead as if looking toward the horizon, not down at their feet or the floor. They move with a strong, determined stride.
When they sit, their backs are straight and they are ready to partake;
they're not slouching and hoping no one notices them.
Their self-confidence may seem natural, but I assure you they have learned it somewhere along the way in life. They have consciously or unconsciously noticed how others stand, how they move, how they sit.
They have mimicked these movements and it has led them to have more belief and confidence in themselves.
The Appearance Of Confidence:
When you assume the appearance of confidence, you internalize the feeling of confidence, and then you begin building confidence.
This isn't a magic cure. Standing or sitting up tall once won't suddenly change you into a self-assured person. It can, however, give you a little extra feeling of confidence when you need it.
Try it and see if you notice a difference in your day. Practice it, and it will become a more permanent part of your life.
3) Be Prepared
"Confidence is preparation. Everything else is beyond your control."
- Robert Kline
Confidence soars when you are prepared and ready to handle the day. When you take the time to plan out what you are going to do or how you are going to say something, your belief in your success rises dramatically.
To increase self-confidence:
Know it. Have the knowledge you need before hand. That way you'll have something to bring to the table and you'll feel ready to participate. If you're going to a meeting, for example, know what's on the agenda and start formulating your ideas before you get there.
Want to make asking someone out on a date go more smoothly? Know where you want to go and what you want to do before hand. Even asking someone out for the standard dinner and a movie sounds better when you mention a specific restaurant and a specific movie.
Rehearse it. Never tell yourself 'I'll just wing it.' Or you'll find yourself fumbling for words and ideas. Most people rehearse for a speech or a professional presentation. But really, you can rehearse for just about anything you need a boost of confidence for.
You can rehearse for a job interview or you can rehearse asking someone out on a date. Just practice saying what you want to say out loud. Forget looking in a mirror. That will make you too self-conscious. Sit down, relax, and think about what you want to say and say it.
You'll feel silly and sound akward at first. Practicing ahead of time will help you get a lot of that out of your system. That's what practice is for.
Learn it. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Even when you are well prepared you'll still make mistakes from time to time. The word you are looking for might suddenly pop out of your mind, or you might accidently mispronounce something.
Most people will soon forget your mistake: you are the only one for whom mistakes loom large. Let it go!
4) Increasing Confidence By Completing Goals
You are strong and confident
Nothing builds confidence more than accomplishment.
As adults, we spend too much time looking at life as a struggle, focusing on what we can't do or what we don't have.
This puts an enormous drain on your energy and causes your self-worth to plummet.
When your focus lies on what you can do, however, your self-confidence surges. You feel strong and capable. Daily accomplishments give you daily confidence.
People with low self-confidence wonder why others seem to be doing better than them.
They feel stuck. They think that nothing ever goes right for them.
Confident people have set backs too, but taking action and setting goals is such a habit that they push on through the doubt and obstacles.
Keeping track of your accomplishments can give your confidence the boost that it needs.
Whether it be a scrapbook, a photo album, or a bulletin board on your refrigerator, having a way to memorialize your achievements and successes gives them purpose and meaning.
And that purpose and meaning translates into more confidence.
5) Building Confidence With People Who Cheer For You
"Confidence is contagious. So is the lack of confidence."
- Vince Lombardi
Sports teams are urged on to victory by the cheer of the crowd and so are we. How others view us directly effects our opinion of ourselves. When others see us as confident, we come to feel that way about ourselves.
Confident People Attract:
Surround yourself with people who see you in a positive light. Who think you are smart and capable.
When choosing friends or people to hang out with at work, don't just pick people who have similar intersts - pick people who have a similar attitude and outlook on life as yours.
I'm not talking about having the exact same social views or being a carbon copy of yourself. I'm talking about people who are open to the possibilities of life, who will be supportive of your dreams, who will encourage you as you will encourage them.
This is more important than you probably realize. The backing of people who believe in you is essential to your success and happiness.
It happens sometimes that there are people in your life who are not supportive. We all know people who would rather knock you down than see you stand tall. You do not have to share your personal dreams and ambitions with these people.
If they start giving you their unsolicited opinon about your life, brush it off and try to change the subject if you can. Some people get a little power trip from trying to knock others down. Don't become entangled by their negativity.
No matter how strong or self-confident you are, you don't need anyone's negative energy or negative opinions distracting you. There are plenty of other people in the world who are positive and hopeful and wish the best for you. Open yourself up to these people and see how good it feels.
Building self-confidence takes time, practice, and effort. But remember, confident people aren't born that way. They have built their confidence over the course of their lives. And so can you.
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Self-Esteem Articles - Links
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